Oops.

A few weeks ago, Diana at Gold to Refine asked her readers to share something they were going to start doing for themselves. 

I said I was going to start blogging again.  On May 18, I set up a new blog and made my first post.

The blog has sat untouched until today, June 23.  Why is it so impossible to just take some time for myself?  To do something I need?  Far too many other people to worry about, I guess. 

We have been inundated with birthdays, weddings and bridal showers, two unexpected deaths, and the general craziness that comes with summer and a RAD kid.

Although, I have to hand it to my Butterfly.  Considering how insane things have been, she has done a relatively good job of keeping it together.  Especially considering that she is going to visit her grandparents up north.  Needless to say, she is insanely stressed about this visit. She hates going.  She feels so unsafe there.  It breaks my heart that she is going.  Granted, I cherish my time away, but I don't want a break if it means that she is going through hell.

And God bless my in-laws.  They just don't get it.  They never have and they never will.  Butterfly asked if she could bring her brother (our golden retriever, Yadi) to make her feel safer, and she was told by her grandpa, "No, because Uncle Mike will have his dog up here on Sunday." (For one whole day.)  and Grandma said "No, because Sammy (their dog) wants to have all of your attention while you're here."  Okay.  Great.  Then Butterfly told her grandma she was scared about coming to visit.  The grand response?  "Don't be silly.  We're going to have a great time."  Awesome.  I asked Butterfly if that made her feel better.  "No.  It made me feel worse.  She isn't listening to me, and she doesn't want to hear how I really feel."  Hmmmm.  Smart kid, huh? 

Butterfly has spent every morning this week in a slight RAD panic.  Every morning on the drive to camp, I ask what's wrong and she says she is nervous about her trip.  Has anyone figured out how to record a RAD kid without them knowing so they don't change their behavior?  Because I think those tapes would make great birthday gifts for my in-laws this year.

Normally, I would also be in a panic right now, too.  I would be trying to think of all the rules they need to know.  However, they always go ignored.  Or even better, they are gone against on purpose just to spite me.  So instead, I told my husband if he wants rules, they need to come from him. I have spent my free time trying to empower Butterfly to share how she is really feeling with her grandparents, and to ask when she needs something (to call us, write a letter, etc.).  They aren't going to guess what she needs, so she needs to be more vocal.  She is the queen of acting like everything is perfect when she is with them, so they of course think nothing is wrong.

In any case, the countdown is on.  Last year, she almost got kicked out of camp because her behavior was so poor leading up to the trip.  I hope she continues to do as well as she has been doing this week.

Hope everyone is having a good summer...temps are reaching 100 here...ew.  I'm ready for fall!